Wednesday, April 28, 2010


DEDICATION: I want to dedicate this post to my mom who, despite all the hardships of her life, she never let go of us but kept fighting so we can have a better future. I love you, mom, and respect everything you did and do for us.

I grew up in Romania. I was born and raised by a wonderful woman, that is my mom. I remember my childhood and my youth with a very present mom in everything I was doing and needing: going to school, learning to read and write, cooking for me the most delicious meals, washing my clothes etc. My father was there but not present: my father was just bringing the money on the table and that was about it. A loving father himself but not too emotionally involved in our lives.
As the time went by and I could understand things better, I realized the kind of the society I was living in: a society where the role of a woman was to raise the kids, take care of the household and even if she was working she was still supposed to raise the kids and take care of the household no matter what, basically not having any help for anybody, it was NORMAL. Of course there were exceptions from the rule but only to reinforce it.
I never knew exactly what raising a kid meant, you don't know until you're in that situation, right. Life or destiny or you name it wanted me to have and raise kids in another country than Romania. Different country = different mentality.
I remember being pregnant with Bryce and going with my wonderful husband to a childcare class. The woman in front of us kept saying: "Please, ask for help". "It's not easy to be a mom". "You need a village to raise a baby". I remember thinking to myself: "But I'm embarrassed" "How could I ever ask for help when where I came from all the mothers are doing everything by themselves", "That's normal", "What is she talking about?".
The time came and I had Bryce, he was there with me, but my husband was also there and my mother in law and my father in law. And boy oh boy, I couldn't ask for more. And then coming home with the pain that you have after you deliver, how wonderful is to have a helpful husband that you can ask a glass of water or that can hold the baby while you're taking a shower.
How wonderful is to have a pair of in laws that can watch the baby while you, as a couple, take some hours off for yourself or just do some stupid errands.
So, I just have a message for all the moms out there that feel embarrassed to ask for help or think that it's ONLY their job to raise that baby: IT'S OK TO ASK FOR HELP, IT'S NORMAL TO ASK FOR HELP, BEING A MOM IS NOT EN EASY JOB!!!
Nobody says that you can not do them all: take care of the baby, clean the house, do the laundry, cook, etc, you can BUT the result is a tired woman with no time for herself, frustrated, annoyed etc.
So, there you go, this post just came from the bottom of my heart, from a new mom that truly acknowledges and respects all the efforts of all the moms out there.

1 comment:

  1. We are happy to help. It is one of the joys of being a grandparent.

    My Mother was like yours so perhaps Romanian culture your mother is from (in that respect)is like our 1950s.

    You CAN do it all and if you have to for some reason, there is no shame in putting the baby first and all the other things 2nd or 3rd or 4th. Perfection is an impossible. It's important to give yourself a break.


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