BEING A MOM IS NOT AN EASY JOB

DEDICATION: I want to dedicate this post to my mom who, despite all the hardships of her life, she never let go of us but kept fighting so we can have a better future. I love you, mom, and respect everything you did and do for us.

I grew up in Romania. I was born and raised by a wonderful woman, that is my mom. I remember my childhood and my youth with a very present mom in everything I was doing and needing: going to school, learning to read and write, cooking for me the most delicious meals, washing my clothes etc. My father was there but not present: my father was just bringing the money on the table and that was about it. A loving father himself but not too emotionally involved in our lives.
As the time went by and I could understand things better, I realized the kind of the society I was living in: a society where the role of a woman was to raise the kids, take care of the household and even if she was working she was still supposed to raise the kids and take care of the household no matter what, basically not having any help for anybody, it was NORMAL. Of course there were exceptions from the rule but only to reinforce it.
I never knew exactly what raising a kid meant, you don't know until you're in that situation, right. Life or destiny or you name it wanted me to have and raise kids in another country than Romania. Different country = different mentality.
I remember being pregnant with Bryce and going with my wonderful husband to a childcare class. The woman in front of us kept saying: "Please, ask for help". "It's not easy to be a mom". "You need a village to raise a baby". I remember thinking to myself: "But I'm embarrassed" "How could I ever ask for help when where I came from all the mothers are doing everything by themselves", "That's normal", "What is she talking about?".
The time came and I had Bryce, he was there with me, but my husband was also there and my mother in law and my father in law. And boy oh boy, I couldn't ask for more. And then coming home with the pain that you have after you deliver, how wonderful is to have a helpful husband that you can ask a glass of water or that can hold the baby while you're taking a shower.
How wonderful is to have a pair of in laws that can watch the baby while you, as a couple, take some hours off for yourself or just do some stupid errands.
So, I just have a message for all the moms out there that feel embarrassed to ask for help or think that it's ONLY their job to raise that baby: IT'S OK TO ASK FOR HELP, IT'S NORMAL TO ASK FOR HELP, BEING A MOM IS NOT EN EASY JOB!!!
Nobody says that you can not do them all: take care of the baby, clean the house, do the laundry, cook, etc, you can BUT the result is a tired woman with no time for herself, frustrated, annoyed etc.
So, there you go, this post just came from the bottom of my heart, from a new mom that truly acknowledges and respects all the efforts of all the moms out there.

Literature and stuff

I thought of writing down some books and other things that I found very, very useful while raising Bryce. I believe I will edit this post over and over again throughout the years so here we start:

BOOKS:

Pregnancy: MAYO - Guide to a healthy pregnancy;

BABY :

THE BABY BOOK Dr. Sear

The Vaccine book by Bob Sears

Super Baby Food by Ruth Yaron

Baby-led weaning by Gill Rapley & tracey Murkett

Top 100 Baby Purees by Annabel Karmel

MAGAZINES:

The American Baby

LOTIONS:

EARTH MAMA BABY ANGEL -body lotion

EARTH MAMA ANGEL BABY - bottom balm

EARTH MOMA ANGEL BABY - massage oil

- Weleda Calendula cream - perfect to moisturize his little cheeks;

PROBIOTIC:

BIOGAIA probiotic

(the best stuff out there; Bryce was never colicky, but one month ago I suspected a little bit of reflux, he was arching his back while I was feeding him, especially at night, making him uncomfortable and some occasionally spit ups; thanks to MQQM's research on the benefice of probiotics, we gave him also the BIOGAIA probiotic and boy oh boy what an improvement; he never arches his back anymore and the spit-ups are gone
I highly recommend it for the little bellies out there.

BRYCE and the process of sleeping

I thought of writing this post especially because I'm really interested in how his sleep patterns will develop as well as as a testimony for our future kids.
From the first day we brought Bryce home from the hospital we realized more and more each day what an interested person he is and also a very determined, kinda of independent one, if you will; I know it's a strange concept for babies but this is the feeling that we get as the days go by and it just becomes stronger and stronger.
He just had a way of teaching me how to trust him and as crazy as it sounds, being a first time mom, I just followed it.
These are some examples:
- when I've started giving him formula, I was afraid I would overfed him; Bryce never drunk more than he needed, he would push away the bottle or just turned his head;
- when I swaddled him at night, I remembered he was already 4 months and half and still doing it and thinking if it was ok, reading about it, until one night when he just wiggled until I've let him free and he fell asleep and never swaddled him again;
What about his sleep?
You read and hear all kind of stuff about it; people are giving you advices: "Oh, he's 6 months old and he doesn't sleep all night long? Do you give him a bottle of cereals before he goes to sleep? bla, bla, bla". I generally don't listen to these kind of talks; I strongly believe every baby is different and that is very hard to set up a general rule especially when it comes to sleep;
So, how does my baby sleep at six months of age?
During daytime, he's a 3 hours napper: meaning that every 3 hours he needs to go back to sleep, no matter what.
So:
-if he wakes up @ 7:00 am he will go back to the nap morning @ around 10:00 am;
-if he wakes up @ 8:00 am he will go back to the nap morning @ around 11:00 am;
This morning nap usually lasts for about 45 minutes to 1 hour.
The lunch nap is happening 3 hours after the above hours, so:
- at around 1:00 -2:00 pm and it is the longest one and lasts for about 1- 2 hours
The afternoon nap is the shortest one, around 30-45 minutes, usually around 5:00 pm.
Now, at night, I'm still a little bit confused, as I don't seem to see any kind of pattern or maybe there is one and because I'm too sleepy I don't see it.:) So, usually he goes to bed @ around 7:30-8:00 pm. He sleeps for about 3 hours, wakes up, eats, goes back to sleep and after that, as he sleeps in between us, he pretty much wakes up, I would say every 2 hours, eats, goes back to sleep. There are some random nights where he just wakes up like wide awake and has an appetite for playing and talking.
So, having said that, I'm left wondering: should I trust my baby in the matter of sleep as well? I guess, I should. Because, as unpleasant as it is for us at night, putting all the hours together, he does sleep around 12-14 hours a day. He does not look sleep deprived, he's totally full of energy and well rested.
And just to end in an optimistic note, I've read this article in "The American baby" magazine, saying that in the first year of life baby schedule changes so much in so many different ways that it's hard to get in a routine so parents should not feel frustrated about it.
But, I MUST ADMIT I LOOK FORWARD TO LONG HOURS SLEEPING NIGHTS. :)